Telegram - Serving Metropolitan Detroit Since 1944

Dear Tasha,

I started working for my organization about 5 years ago as the receptionist and I really love what I do. Every morning I get to greet people, answer the phone and help my coworkers when needed. Over the past 5 years I have had the pleasure of making friends with everyone that comes into the office, this includes the UPS man/woman, the vendors and the postman. We make small talk about our family, accomplishments and share stories about holidays, birth of our children or grandchildren and it helps make the day go by. Well, about three months ago our regular postman stated he would be retiring to the sunny state of Florida with his wife of 25 years. I was excited for him and decided to plan a small celebration in his honor on the week he was leaving. Every day for a week, he was presented with a small token of love from the team. He was grateful and talked about how much he enjoyed coming to our office and truly appreciated the friendship we had built over the years. Well, his last day came and we hugged and promised to stay in touch via Facebook—and have done just that. The following Monday, the new postman arrived, and I was just as eager to start a new friendship with him, as this is part of my day and I enjoy talking to others. Unfortunately, he was a pleasant. He walks in, I greet him, and he doesn’t speak a word, just drops the mail off and proceeds to leave as though I was invisible. After about a few weeks of the same inappropriate behavior, he decides to come in wearing his headphones, no eye contact drops off the mail and goes to use the restroom, returning later in the day to pick up the mail and still doesn’t speak. How rude! I am in disbelief and wish I could have my old friend back. How can a person see someone every day and not speak? A simple hello would be nice, even if he didn’t want to strike up a conversation. Maybe he just doesn’t like me, is what I have surmised and so I just don’t even speak anymore, but it looks odd when other people are around. I’m curious to know your thoughts on how I should handle this or let it be.

Signed,

Ms. Happy

Dear Ms. Happy,

It sounds like you are a ray of sunshine and truly love what you do. I can’t begin to tell you the number of times in my working career the number of individuals that I have come across that had the same temperament. You had done nothing wrong and don’t let this person steal your daily joy. It’s unfortunate that this new postman has taken this position. But, what I believe to be true in this instance is that he is exactly who he is and will never change. I would probably guest that he is what most people would call an introvert. You stated that he wears his headphones and doesn’t make eye contact, and this is one of the many signs of people who display signs of introversion. I would also guess that you are not the only one he treats this way and believe it or not, he’s in the perfect working environment for him. He can go about his day and not make small talk with strangers. It’s not that he doesn’t like you, it’s just who he is. Just continue to be your happy, bubbly self and maybe, just maybe over time he will feel the urge to speak. It’s only been a few months and sometimes people like to take things slow. Maybe he’s had some bad experiences before and holding conversations with the people at his stops have slowed him down. What I know to be true is, that we can’t expect others to act in the same way we do. We must learn to accept people for who they are and move on. Keep smiling and greeting others the way you normally do and enjoy being the sweet kind person with the sunny disposition. Keep me posted and let me know if things change.

Signed,

Tasha

Talk to Tasha @ [email protected]